Learning to Live
by Exodus
Summary: After her death in "The Gift", Buffy awakens in a strange place..With a stranger host.
1. Default Chapter

Learning to live

Learning to live

Buffy awoke with a start and instantly took in her surroundings.She should have been lying on top of the pallets she had seen below her when she jumped, should have seen her friends looking at her or helping her up.Instead she was sitting in a comfy padded chair in a well-lit beach house in broad daylight.She looked out the glass doors in front of her and watched the ocean, which crashed and rolled less than 100 yards away from her.She looked down and realized she had on the same clothes as she had been wearing for the fight with Glory.She stood up quickly and looked frantically around the room for signs of Dawn or the scoobies but saw nothing but a tastefully decorated home.

"Oh great!"She said with mock enthusiasm."So I'm guessing I'm either in an alternate dimension or in heaven."

"Actually, this place has no name."Came a male voice from behind her.

She whirled around to find the source and her eyes came to rest on a man who stood at the railing of the second floor loft, which she had not noticed.

"But then, what is in a name?"He continued, looking at her with an emotion she could only explain as pride.

"Who the **hell** are **you** and why the **hell** am I **here**?"She demanded.In the blink of an eye the stranger was gone and his voice now came from behind her again.

"Well…somebody is just a teensy-weensy bit **bitchy** today?"He responded in an amused manner.

Buffy whirled around again, already growing tired of this game.She stalked toward him purposefully.She planned on grabbing him by the shirt and hoisting him off of the couch he was now sitting on and beating him until he gave her some answers.As she got closer he spoke.

"Don't be stupid."

She was right on top of him now and reached for him.Suddenly, he was gone and an iron grip seized her by the back of her neck.The hand lifted her up until her feet were dangling helplessly off the ground and then tossed her gently onto the couch.

Buffy grabbed the back of her neck instinctively and rolled over to see her attacker.The stranger stood there completely unfazed.'This guy is stronger than he looks' she thought.

"Are you ready to listen now?"He asked, like a father talking to a child he was berating.

Buffy began to curse him but decided that it couldn't hurt to let him speak while she regrouped her thoughts.She nodded for him to go on.

"Good."He said as he sat in the chair she had recently awoken in.He smiled at her.The smile was friendly and warm, but Buffy had learned that a smile could betray a creature's true intent.

"You are dead."He began, as if giving a history lecture."You sacrificed yourself to save your sister and died from the energy you faced in the portal if not from the actual fall to the ground."

Buffy's face drained of all color as she realized that his version of events seemed to jibe with what she thought would happen.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the pair as he allowed Buffy to process this information.Her eyes began to shine as tears pooled in her eyes.Her face reddened as she thought of all the consequences of her action.Dawn was alone.Her friends were all hurting.She blinked and felt the cool drops run down her face.Her host noticed this and decided to keep going to help her keep her mind off these things for now.

"Hey."He added tenderly, trying to get her attention.She raised her head slightly to his voice, but could not look towards him.She looked out the window and watched the waves crashing as he continued."You should know that she is safe now.Your gift was…very brave indeed."

Buffy turned her head to look toward him, but avoided eye contact as she wiped her tears.

"My **gift** huh?How do you know about that?"She looked directly into his Aqua eyes with more than a little anger.He looked like a normal human, but was obviously privy to the higher powers.

His sympathetic expression threw her a little.She wanted to hate someone right now.He looked out the window, maybe trying to see what she had been looking at, as he spoke.

"I know everything about you."He said flatly."From your birth to…well, you know."

"What kind of demon are you?"Buffy's face softened, but her voice held a twinge of pain.

"I'm not a demon."He was ducking his neck down a little, trying to meet Buffy's eyes, which were now looking at the floor.

"God then?"She could almost hear how tired and burnt out she was in her own voice.

"Not a god either."He paused."I don't really have a classification.Most people call me Thad."He held out his hand over the glass and steel coffee table which separated the pair.The corner of Buffy's mouth turned up in a half grin.If the situation hadn't been so freaky she would have laughed.She reached out and shook his hand.

"I guess you already know my name?"The comment sounded more a statement of fact than a snide remark.

"Yes, I do.By the way…which one of your parents was it that decided on Buffy?"Her jaw moved out a little and her face grew cold as she remembered how her mother had loved her name.

"Not that I don't **like** it…" He added quickly.He clucked his tongue and looked to the side to avoid her cold stare.

"So…"She began, "Are you going to tell me the secrets of the universe or what?"She was beginning to wonder why she was here.If she was in heaven, where was her mother?

Thad chuckled softly."I can tell you the secret to life…"He began.Buffy leaned forward, now showing a keen interest in his words."**Don't Die so much**!"Buffy jumped at the raise in his voice, but couldn't help but smile as he went on a short tirade.

"I mean…what is it with you?Always with the dying!The master kills you…**twice**, although I guess that alternate reality didn't really count but…Ah, it just gets so **annoying** finding ways to bring you back!"Buffy's face now held a confused look as her nose scrunched up trying to figure out some of the things he was talking about.

"Nevermind that."He was finally back to reality."There are questions you have that I can answer for you, but we don't have much time.I guess we'll skip the **boyfriend problem** questions and go straight to the 'Why you are here' portion of the evening."

TBC


	2. Learning to Live Part 2

Learning to Live Part 2

Learning to Live Part 2

"OK…talk." 

Thad chuckled at her show of impatience.He looked down and chewed on the inside of his lower lip as he tried to think of where to begin.

"This place" he began, gesturing to this palatial home "is where I exist.There is the reality you come from, the afterlife, and this is the doorway between."

"I follow."Buffy looked into his eyes, trying to figure out just what he was.

"When you died…again…It was…meant to be."He said, putting emphasis on 'again'."But it is not what is best for the world.Though you did sacrifice your life, you were also giving up just a little bit."

Buffy sneered at his insight.She couldn't figure out whether she was mad at his words or at him for knowing what she didn't.

"I…we can't just let you go that easily.I know that there is pain in your world.A great deal of it, but…I have brought you hear to allow you a second chance to make that decision to die."

Buffy's jaw had dropped.Was he actually able to send her back home?

"Now, don't get too excited yet."He added, knowing the speed at which her mind was racing."The choice is not that obvious…it never is."

Buffy had to chuckle herself at the comment.

"You don't say?"

Thad ignored the comment as he continued."Out side of this **house** are the decisions you must make.It all depends on which door you use."

Buffy sighed, "Don't start with that 'confusing demony talking' thing."

Thad looked embarrassed, "Sorry…can't help it sometimes.It comes with the job."

Buffy smiled slightly."Yeah.Well, at least you aren't as confusing as that Whistler guy."

Thad looked away again with a grin.Buffy moved her head, trying to look him face to face.She noticed him nodding his head slightly.

"Sorry about that.Whistler is a good guy, but his methods annoy even me."

Buffy's face held a quizzical expression and Thad realized she was about to ask him questions he didn't want to answer.He continued quickly.

"You noticed the beach earlier?"He started.Buffy nodded her head and looked out at it again.

"It's beautiful…"He tired voice cracked slightly.

Thad looked longingly in the same direction."Yes.Isn't it though?"

There was a short silence as they each took it all in.The smell of Buffy's perfume wafting by as she rose and walked to the door brought Thad back to the conversation.

"Don't open that door yet."His voice came off a bit more frantic than he would have liked and it frightened Buffy slightly.

"Why?"She asked.

"As I told you before, this is the place in between."Buffy stopped just in front of the door but did not look back at him as he spoke."Out there is the peace.The release of death and the afterlife."

Buffy crossed her arms as a tear slid down her cheek."Don't I deserve that?"

Thad looked down solemnly."Of course."

"Than why not just walk out there?"She paused for a second."Is that where my mother is?"

"Yes.But once you walk out that door you commit yourself to the afterlife and, regardless of what you may think, there is not return from that place."

Buffy looked down at her feet.

"Let me guess…I step out the front door and I'm back in the world of the living, right?"She offered.

"No."He stated flatly."You'll be on my porch.But yes, that is the door to use to go back to the world of the living.The decision is yours.I will offer no sway to either direction.You have earned your peace, but that is always waiting for you.You, unlike every other man woman and child in your reality, have that choice to make."

"No pressure there."She said as she looked back out the window, mesmerized by the rhythmic pounding of the waves.

With a quick turn she started back towards where Thad sat waiting.

"If I go back…what then?Do I get Angel back?Do I get my mom back?What's in it form me?"He voice was cold and angry.

Thad looked into her flashing eyes and noticed the redness in her cheeks.He sighed."I can guarantee you nothing.Life is pain.Life is hard.Nothing is certain except for the fact that you will keep fighting.Maybe for the rest of your life."

Buffy snorted at the lack of lies in his argument and turned back toward the Beach.Thad rose quickly from his chair to stop her.

"The true test of your character comes now.You must make your own decision, but be sure to consider the good you can do in your reality.A true test of a hero does not come by sacrificing life and love for the greater good.It comes by sacrificing everything with no assurance of success."With that he disappeared, leaving her alone.

Buffy looked down again as she stood in front of the door to the beach, holding the knob firmly.

The door opened and Buffy stepped out onto the front porch of the beach house.She smelled the sea air looked out at the street running in front of the house.

"Good choice, my child."Thad said from the swing beside her.

Buffy looked at him squarely and smiled."Thanks for the advice."

"What's a father for?"He replied.Then noticing Buffy's jaw had dropped, added "That was metaphorical."

Buffy smiled again and started down the steps toward the street.She stopped near the bottom and turned.

"You seem to know Whistler.How?"She asked.

This was the question he was waiting to hear.He smiled and crossed his arms, standing at the top of the steps.

"I guess you could say he works for me."

Buffy turned her head and glanced at the mailbox.The name on the top read 'Powers, Thad'.Buffy's face went blank as her head snapped back around to face him.The grin on his face answered her question, but she asked anyway.

"Do you happen to have a middle initial?"She asked, noticing how bright everything was now becoming.

"B.But it doesn't mean anything…"He chuckled as Buffy's vision was covered in white light.

"You son of a –"and suddenly she was standing in darkness.Her eyes adjusted to the change in light and a familiar face stared back at her.It was Spike, mouth agape.His eyes were wide open, and his cigarette was falling out of his mouth.

Buffy smiled."Hey You!"

Spike stood frozen as Xander appeared behind him, mirroring his face.Then Xander fainted.

TBC


End file.
